Serious words to live by

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Ode to Solitude

It's actually uncommon knowledge, but some people know that I am blessed and afflicted with Aspergers Syndrome and chronic anxiety.  Some days I'm relatively okay, some days I have what I call "Bad autistic days"... I couldn't describe that if I try, and I have some "bad anxiety days." I was dillying around with wedding stuff listening to HIM and I had a revelation. 

The perfect description of Aspergers, for me, "Ode to Solitude in Chains"

There's a song for that:

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I've been off my game.  That's okay really, but it's a statement of fact.  In the same way that people dislike and feel sluggish by winter.... I feel that about summer.  This probably stems from a deep fear of skin cancer...and spending most of my youth nearly living along a river every summer.  I'm pretty certain I could be confused for another race a couple years of my childhood.  That and my wedding this fall! I don't want a tan.... unfortunately I tan easily... rarely burn.  So basically I just want to skip summer and head right to fall where I have my wedding, honeymoon....and then thanksgiving and Christmas... which I adore. 
That and I've been a bit depressed recently that's killed a lot of my urge to get out there and explore.  I still don't understand Christianity, though I gave it a good try.  I'm not sure I can reconcile with Pagans and personal strangeness.  I tend to be a purist and want to use only natural elements and be outdoors, otherwise I call fowl. 
Still interested in Judaism, I know even less about that. Still want to go to the zen center. I just need this mild depression to shove off.

oh and my f-ing car is still broken and I'm about to explode about that.  Whenever the dealership called me back about repairs being done (because the little local shops didn't have a clue what the problem was) I'll have dropped about $1,600.  If it's not fixed, you're going to watch me throw things. I'm not one to get crazy mad, but seriously it's their job to fix it.  I feel that if they get that much money they should just fix it....even if their guess is wrong.

I miss my Illinois friends.

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Remember that random Japanese band I expressed a long time love for a while back?  Well....guess who announced a world tour. 

So what have I been thinking about all weekend? How plausible is it for me to buy tickets and drive 9 hours to New York....

Maybe I'll get lucky and they'll add a Chicago stop...then I only have to drive 5 hours and I know that town!

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The not so big 2-4

Today is my birthday.  My birthday is generally always Memorial Day weekend-ish so I can always find strange things to do.  This weekend Mike and I are thinking about taking the ferry to the Lake Erie Islands.

My birthday didn't start out unusual.  Took Uther out, had some coffee and a bagel thin, went across the sidewalk to the apartment's gym, but when I got back I got a voicemail from a flower company saying they had a delivery and no one was home.  I took a ridiculously quick shower before they came back and this is what I found:

 

My family (mom and step father) sent me a flower "cake" and chocolates.  How sweet.  Here I've been bitching and moaning all week about my family disconnect and I'm once again slapped in the face by the opposite. I know better.   I've never seen a flower "cake", it's quite neat isn't it?  

 

I put the ribbon that came on the box on Uther, he looked so charming all day.  Once again, he was so cute it just wasn't fair. I flitting about the rest of the day responding to texts and nothing exciting until Mike came home with: 

Coldstone Creamery Cupcakes!  I've wanted to try these for a long time.  I only ate the oreo one thus far, but it was delicious. We took off to a shopping center/town that people talk a lot about.  It's been raining for a couple days so walking around wasn't too extensive.  I bought a $3 book at Books-a-Million and we went to Bar Louie for dinner.  Never been there, but it was actually pretty good.  I didn't take any pictures because the food presentation wasn't amazing...but it tasting good.  It was a little too loud in there for me, but we sat next to this bridal shower....that was fun to watch.  They played a game of naming as many famous couples as they could...I realized I would be really bad and strange at that game.  I mostly came up with political figures and Tim Burton with Helena Bonham Carter.  Oh! and "Johnny Depp and that french model"
There's a running store in this shopping town and they must have been having a group run thing, I admire people who will run in the rain.  Serious rain, not a drizzle. Mike and I came back and I lit my four birthday candles.  Mike sang me happy birthday

I have now settled in with a bottle of wine I bought back in December specifically for my birthday! It's from a beloved winery in Illinois called Acquaviva...phenomenal wines. I have saved this one bottle of my favorite since before we moved from Illinois to Ohio.  

mmmm how about a little vintage HIM for my birthday:

I'm not sure what does this to me...but after a couple glasses of wine...if a sexy ville appears before me I seem to loose my clothing...it's like magic.

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Run, come shatter me now, shatter me with hope

Crawl, come breathe me in, bleed out all sorrow

Scream me a dream, untouched by shadows

Baby, shatter me now, shatter me now

shatter me with hope

Swear on your heart's grave, I'm wrong

and love like your life's depending on it

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No post rapture looting?

I'm quite disappointed I did not get to participate in the post apocalyptic looting because the lack of rapture! I'm actually sorry for those that really believed that cult leader.  I have nothing against people that are deceived, but I really dislike people that take advantage of people.  I basically can't wait to hear what that leader has to say.  I have the remarkable ability to read, and by my understanding the Christian folk are not supposed to know when said rapture will happen. Eh, we know one way or the other I'll still be here! Toast to that.

John the Revelator
He's a smooth operator
It's time we cut him down to size
Take him by the hand
And put him on the stand
Let us hear his alibis


Seven lies, multiplied by seven, multiplied by seven again
Seven angels with seven trumpets
Send them home on the morning train
Well who's that shouting?
John the Revelator!
All he ever gives us is pain
Well who's that shouting?
John the Revelator!
He should bow his head in shame

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