I've been off my game.  That's okay really, but it's a statement of fact.  In the same way that people dislike and feel sluggish by winter.... I feel that about summer.  This probably stems from a deep fear of skin cancer...and spending most of my youth nearly living along a river every summer.  I'm pretty certain I could be confused for another race a couple years of my childhood.  That and my wedding this fall! I don't want a tan.... unfortunately I tan easily... rarely burn.  So basically I just want to skip summer and head right to fall where I have my wedding, honeymoon....and then thanksgiving and Christmas... which I adore. 
That and I've been a bit depressed recently that's killed a lot of my urge to get out there and explore.  I still don't understand Christianity, though I gave it a good try.  I'm not sure I can reconcile with Pagans and personal strangeness.  I tend to be a purist and want to use only natural elements and be outdoors, otherwise I call fowl. 
Still interested in Judaism, I know even less about that. Still want to go to the zen center. I just need this mild depression to shove off.

oh and my f-ing car is still broken and I'm about to explode about that.  Whenever the dealership called me back about repairs being done (because the little local shops didn't have a clue what the problem was) I'll have dropped about $1,600.  If it's not fixed, you're going to watch me throw things. I'm not one to get crazy mad, but seriously it's their job to fix it.  I feel that if they get that much money they should just fix it....even if their guess is wrong.

I miss my Illinois friends.